Choof Choof: RIP

Hello blog I am back.. Not happy but still alive and living.

Just to put my grief on the death of my dear cat, Kitty, yesterday on Christmas Eve. I've never felt so down. Everything reminds me of him. I've been in bed in tears since the incident late arvo till today. It happened so fast. Just can't stop. My room is full of cats and it's even more sad because I've also just started painting a picture of him and its right next to my bed. He's looking right at me. Just when I was getting back into painting, actually enjoying too! I don't think I'll be able to finish it.. very soon. I don't know what else I could've done but it's just too soon. Only two and a half years old, still a baby. Really thought he'd stay for the long run! Also right on Christmas.. I was planning to take a Christmas photo with him that day too but he's now gone.. gone before my birthday, gone before New Years.. whyyy, I don't want anything else. The last time I saw him alive and well, was not long before the incident, he was lying long in front of the house and I gave him a little pat cuddle and said 'I'll see you later when I come back Kitty!' who knew that'll be the last.

Christmas morning. Waking up, I thought I'd be okay. I miss not seeing him sleeping in my room or meowing outside the door. I normally go search for him but no.. It brought me to tears again. Looking outside the window, it hurts me knowing he won't be crawling along the fence or just sitting at the front waiting. He meant so much to me, he was my comforter, my friend, my baby, my kitty. He made me so happy. Now I feel lonely as ever. I know I have others around to support me but it's not the same.
My sister gave me a christmas present this morning since I wouldn't get of bed. Opened the package, figured out it was sneakers, opened the box there was also a cat shirt.. it made me cry again. I don't know how I feel about cats anymore.. seeing them just reminds me of him.

Oh dear Astro baby why do you have to go.. the time when I need you most.