Farkin k

Hello blogworld. Its been a long time. More than a year now! Oh so much has happened. I kinda hope no one really reads this. I feel as if this blog thing will get personal and I don't think I really want it to.. the openness like ew, probably thats one of the main reasons why I stopped plus its been sometime since I hopped on my mac. I don't know how I managed back then posting photos and just manage in general. It feels like such a hassle. Anywho, reading some posts back, I still feel as if I'm in the same spot as silly and sad as that sounds. Back to square one.. Right now I am in a shit hating mood. I was seeing this guy we hanged out heaps! well mainly once a week for awhile and I actually really liked him. If you know me.. Its hard for me to find someone I actually like but I always blow it and letting them go so easily. So many things I regret not doing and not saying but I do it again and again anyways ugh. I really don't learn and do feel my mind is delayed in understanding what is happening at the time. I am also afraid of doing things I haven't done, the new, as do most people. I know you gotta try to find out aye but oh the anxiety and dreadful thoughts or I could just say they're really not the one. It's sad to say that I still miss him brings me so much pain. Think a reason is cos I didn't really do anything majorly wrong? and he left me slowly like that.. and it hurts. And the other shitty feeling is that I can imagine him being happy now and I'm left here torn. I got so much anger in me. He is a really cool guy though, had many traits that I liked and was ideal to me. Our convo wasn't too great I have to say and there was always a doubt that it wouldn't work out as much as I wanted to ugh. I really want to move on.. It's been awhile already until yesterday when he came.. stupid k. So many triggers. I wish to meet some new people and be more happier. These days those dating apps are in. I do not really like using them. Majority, you know what they want. I need a friend buddy. I'm not that social or motivated so its pretty hard and tough. Why you so neg kat? Painting, music and my cat and dog is what gets me going these days. Singing is great. It lets so much out but I need to find something else new to do. I've also been going to the gym time to time and riding my bike which makes me feel good. I think this will be enough for now. Till next time..

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First drawing of the year! of my Dot.

where the floater is looking to find a ground..

Back Gone and Insta

Hii blog world, I am back once again and it'll be my first post for 2014. How sad.. and we're in mid Septemberish. Well I have been meaning to blog at the start and mid year but I didn't actually publish anything.. I think cos most of my photos and everything is on my phone and the app isn't too great to use and it just feels weird coming back to blog after awhile but hey, hiiii. I'm using instagram more though, follow me on insta! instagram.com/okissu. I'll prob post on blogger time to time.

Two new kitties! Meet Booty (Beauty) and Dot. 

Dearest Kitty..

Hello blog I am back.. Not happy but still alive and living.

Just to put my grief on the death of my dear cat, Kitty, yesterday on Christmas Eve. I've never felt so down. Everything reminds me of him. I've been in bed in tears since the incident late arvo till today. It happened so fast. Just can't stop. My room is full of cats and it's even more sad because I've also just started painting a picture of him and its right next to my bed. He's looking right at me. Just when I was getting back into painting, actually enjoying too! I don't think I'll be able to finish it.. very soon. I don't know what else I could've done but it's just too soon. Only two and a half years old, still a baby. Really thought he'd stay for the long run! Also right on Christmas.. I was planning to take a Christmas photo with him that day too but he's now gone.. gone before my birthday, gone before New Years.. whyyy, I don't want anything else. The last time I saw him alive and well, was not long before the incident, he was lying long in front of the house and I gave him a little pat cuddle and said 'I'll see you later when I come back Kitty!' who knew that'll be the last.

Christmas morning. Waking up, I thought I'd be okay. I miss not seeing him sleeping in my room or meowing outside the door. I normally go search for him but no.. It brought me to tears again. Looking outside the window, it hurts me knowing he won't be crawling along the fence or just sitting at the front waiting. He meant so much to me, he was my comforter, my friend, my baby, my kitty. He made me so happy. Now I feel lonely as ever. I know I have others around to support me but it's not the same.
My sister gave me a christmas present this morning since I wouldn't get of bed. Opened the package, figured out it was sneakers, opened the box there was also a cat shirt.. it made me cry again. I don't know how I feel about cats anymore.. seeing them just reminds me of him.

Oh dear Astro baby why do you have to go.. the time when I need you most.

 

 

 

 

 

 

               

 I can't smile or even fake it but thanks for being the bestfriend I've had. Will truly miss you. :'(

Rest in Peace Kitty.

Cat life

Current at uni, waiting for class to start.. had a nice relief nap. I had a tute with Raf and now a tad motivated to just get going and doing things! I am the same every start of the semester, so lost and zzz. Felt so shitty today though.  Living the life of a cat. I need a haircut and I feel like going for a run.

prog painting, from a little set up on my desk.

Random texta doodle

Last monday went to the Aquarium for class. We were meant to draw fishes and their movements. I struggled, it was so hard. I just actually suck at drawing in general. The penguins are so cute! 

Flying turtle turtle

Kitty in a little jersey shirt, bought from daiso.

XXXX

Clap clap

It has been awhile, Holidays over, back to uni. 

Holidays was alright, good sleep ins and spent alot of time with these guys.

Feasting and drinkin' meetin new peeps.
Workin, and actually finished a painting I've been doing from a few days ago for this nice orthodontist lady.

I'm actually really happy as to how this turned out in the end! Currently in a gold frame ready to go~

Did some baking: Green tea n choc cheesecake, Cream cheese donuts, lemon tart.

Did some cleaning that took daysss! Now currently in the same state/mess as before -__-". It can never stay clean. whyyyyy?!?!!

fail Finn.
Attempted some sewing after a long time.. 

Little Boy and Munta.
During the break.. one of my dogs died.. you may remember Fluffy the brown pomeranian dog that ate my sausage. Sad times, was kinda unexpected. r.i.p Fluffy. Now there's these two buggers left! Little boy's so small and cute..

XXXX

YATAHH!